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Part 1 – Organization

Overall, this paper is somewhat well organized. You may want to consider condensing the first few paragraphs into a single conclusion, as there’s much background information that isn’t really relevant to the main topic of this paper. Also, one of the two direct quotes in this paper is not in reference to virtual learning, which makes it seem unnecessary.

Part 2 – Development

Similarly, the argument presented in this paper seems somewhat undeveloped, as a large portion of this paper discusses only semi-relevant material. Further, not enough sources appear to be used in this paper. Aside from two direct quotes and a block quote (which isn’t cited, leading to confusion), there are no referenced sources at all. This makes the overall argument seem somewhat weak, because there’s no “proof” or “evidence” to support your claims.

Part 3 – Formatting and Style

In terms of formatting and style, this is fairly well done. I’ve marked a few minor areas of phrasing that don’t make sense, as well as the usage of the words “we” and “you”, which aren’t typically used in essays unless otherwise stated by your professor.

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Organization & Development:

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Organization Guide:

Development Guide:


Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics

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Grammar Guide:


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Please use the Brainfuse Style Guides for information on citation formatting.




Chicago Style:


Please make all changes to your own original file to maintain your intended formatting, headers, and footers.



























America’s Educational Landscape: Virtual Learning’s Viability





Barbara Gragg














English 102

Professor Palazzolo

19, April 2021



America’s Educational Landscape: Virtual Learning’s Viability


Education in America had rudimentary beginnings and has evolved with the changes in society’s technological advancements; in turn, we (should you be using pronouns like “we” in this paper?) are now gauging the viability of virtual learning for today’s students.

(Would it be beneficial to flesh out your introduction to a greater degree? At the moment, it’s only one sentence, which almost feels too brief for readers to really sink into the topic.)

Brick and mortar buildings housed students for in-person learning traditionally (the verbiage of traditionally being here is a bit odd when read, you may want to switch the placement by moving traditionally to the front of the sentence) in America’s schools.  Students of varying ages and grade levels would attend school in a one-room building. There was usually one teacher who taught essential reading and mathematics skills to students. During the historical period when farming and agriculture was the primary source of income (note that this is singular, but “farming” and “agriculture” are technically two separate things) for many harvesting times would determine the attendance of students (note, the phrasing here is not grammatically correct due to the sentence beginning with “during”. This is noticeable when read aloud. The sentence structure you seem to be going for is “During X, Y”, however, at the moment, what you have is “During X”). However, after the industrial revolution, those elements would change.

Students would typically attend their neighborhood or community school. As people began exiting rural communities because of the lack of farming jobs and moving to cities, the population multiplied. All students are entitled to receive a free public school education. The exception is the term all didn’t always apply to students with special needs. However, as of the 1970s, when Congress created laws to ensure that special needs students’ educational needs were met, this was allowed. Therefore, families would primarily send their children to the school within their zone or within walking distance.

(You may need to add a few transitional sentences to the above paragraph. The paragraph makes a very abrupt jump to discussing special needs students, and this doesn’t flow well in the paragraph. “All students are entitled to a free…” is where this paragraph loses its rhythm.)

School choice provided opportunities for students to attend schools that catered to            and met the specific needs of the student. Jay Matthews wrote an article in 2015 for the New York Times newspaper and gave data and reasons to support the shift in school choice (is this much information needed? Would it be easier to say “said”? At the moment, the background information doesn’t lead well into the quote), “Among parents who had a choice of public schools in 2007, the center reported, 32 percent of those living in cities chose something other than their assigned school, compared with 20 percent in the suburbs.” For example, private schools have long existed as an option for families who could afford to send their children to elite schools. Also, public schools began creating magnet schools with specialized focus such as math and science focus (repetition) or performing arts. Parents who desired to provide more rigorous and high-quality instruction for their children with a minor teacher-to-student ratio are often attracted to a magnet school. Besides, charter schools are a viable option for parents and students who desire an innovative approach to teaching and instruction designed to meet the student’s needs.

The condition of school buildings, declining neighborhoods, and the school climate are some of the issues that impact the in-person learning environment. School buildings are an oversized ticket item for school districts. The continual maintenance that is required of aging school buildings can be expensive. For larger school districts, strategically planning closures and mergers of multiple schools is key to increasing the district’s efficiency and cost-saving elements. A declining neighborhood may occur for any reason, such as older citizens passing away, older homes that are no longer livable, and increased crime may impact a neighborhood’s declining numbers. Therefore, the two previous factors can directly impact the school’s climate and culture. (The punctuation before a block quote should be a colon. Also, the quote needs a citation, and if the following text is part of the same paragraph, it should not be indented. If the text is not part of the paragraph, you should consider adding another sentence or two after the block quote, because paragraphs typically should not be ended on a quote.)

Institutions of higher learning initially introduced virtual learning opportunities

in addition to face-to-face learning. The format has changed over the years as technological advancements have changed. The key factors are providing options for learners who desire to have learned in a form other than a face-to-face brick-and-mortar setting.  This was the beginning of virtual learning.

Students could watch video recordings of the instructor’s lesson from a local news channel. The instructor would present the class as he or she usually would in a face-to-face format. The student would have assigned a textbook to follow along with any text. The teacher would provide higher-order thinking questions within the lesson and create an assessment for the students. The method of evaluation would vary depending upon the college or university.

Instructors can teach students on multiple campuses through the colleges’ digital teaching platform. Colleges and universities lead the way in guiding America’s learners through the inception of innovative and cutting-edge learning methods. The creation of the Internet gave increasing more learners opportunities to learn literally at the touch of their fingers—schools being designing degree programs that were 100% online and didn’t require any in-person meetings.

America’s K-12 public schools and private schools integrate innovative learning platforms in correlation to the global technological advancement and aligning with expectations of colleges and universities. It is crucial that public and private schools adequately prepare the growing number of students that graduate adequately. Colleges and universities provide feedback about the state of preparedness of the freshman that comes through their doors. Students who are not academically prepared for college-level courses often spend additional time and additional money because they take remedial courses to get them college-ready and take college-level courses successfully.

(Where is this information coming from? Should you be using more in-text citations?)

Measuring the effectiveness of virtual learning determines if it is a viable and worthwhile option. There are many ways to collect data and compare it. A standard feature of online learning formats is collecting data such as student participation (i.e., login, time online), on-time and late submission of assignments, and grades, to name a few. This information can be printed, and the reports can be compared to in-person learners.

Alignment with colleges and universities’ goals and expectations requires that the public and private schools appropriately prepare students with sufficient virtual learning exposure Schools must stay abreast of technological advancements. Long gone are the days of the teacher standing in front of the class and teaching with little to no input or feedback. Collaborative teaching and including interactive websites in the classroom are expected and highly effective. Professor Debra Meyers of Elmhurst University shared her insight about the importance of meeting the needs of all students, “It is essential that we not only think about how to return to “normal,” but also how we should redesign learning experiences and opportunities to make up for the ones that have been lost to so many students.” (Again, try not to end paragraphs with a quotation. Quotes should be followed with your own explanation as to how that quote applies to your thesis.)

In conclusion, America’s educational landscape is steadily evolving, with virtual learning is one learning platform with sustainability (the wording here is a bit odd). Once you (should you use “you” in this paper?) compare the beginnings of virtual learning to the present time, it has grown and grown. The needs of families and students significantly impact the growth. In recent years (a comma is needed after an introductory phrase) the COVID-19 pandemic has increased the number of virtual learners across the world. It is a good fit for some learners, and for others, it is not a good fit (repetition). However, the likelihood that it will remain an option for learners is proven by the data. (The last lines of this paper may need to be stronger. At the moment, they fall flat due to the redundancy of the second to last sentence, and the last sentence is somewhat vague. Neither lay the groundworks for a strong conclusion.)





Works Cited

Mathews, Jay. “The Decline of Neighborhood Schools Causes Discomfort. Should It?” The Washington Post, WP Company, 25 Jan. 2015,

Meyer, Debra. “Virtual Learning Is the Way Forward for Educators: Elmhurst University Blog.” Elmhurst University, 5 Jan. 2021,






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